For those of you that love the snow, can't wait for it to snow, own a Jeep or similar vehicle that drives well in the snow...good for you. I have a differing and very valid reason for not liking the snow.
1. I either have to put on my ugly pink snowpants to walk my Demon 8 blocks to school at 8 in the morning or try to drive there in the crap.
2. I live in a court, so we don't get our street plowed out like normal streets do, as if people only drive in a half-assed circle to leave here.
3. My husband drives a semi for a national distribution company. You might just have to drive to and from work and then get to play in it, but he has to drive in it all day. I worry about him and all the other truck drivers when it's snowing or raining heavily, or windy.
4. People get killed in accidents because of this shit ! How can you think it's cool ? !
Wishing for snow is like wishing the dormant volcano by your house will erupt so you can dance in the ash and ski on the magma.
Argh...snow is not something to be wishing for when there are people having to be out in it while you're cozy in your cubicle.
Blessed be, safe travels and safe returns to everyone that does NOT enjoy it and has to go through it for their jobs.
P.S.
For those of you that might say "If you don't like it, then move", guess what...I gladly would if I could.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Thursday, December 3, 2009
I'm Baaack !
So I totally forgot about this and then realized I need it. If I can't talk to people I know about crap then I might as well put it on the net hoping someone will read it. Isn't that how all the bloggers got started?
Here are some things I've figured out over the past few months, bear with me, it's a long list.
I have some form of depression, I drink too much, probably due to the depression, then I drink more cause I'm depressed that I'm depressed. I hate leaving my house if I'm the one driving, not that I hate driving, I just feel anxious doing it. I sleep WAAAY too much and most of the time I'm not even tired. I get mad that I could be reading stuff or doing something and then drink more cause I'm mad at myself for not doin anything. I have no desire to go out on the weekends, put on makeup, do my hair, none of that. I have 2 big drawers filled with cool T-shirts that I haven't been able to wear for over 2 years cause I've adopted a beer gut, and my family feels the need to tell me about it and stare at it everyday (where'd my beer go).
A sentence my dad said to me once when I was about 12 or so has never left my head, and I will NEVER say anything like that to my kid, should have basically been a form of child abuse: You're worthless and will never amount to anything, you're stupid.
Then there's my mom. Notice no capitalization of the word "MOM". When I'm angry you don't deserve a capital. I smell, I don't shower enough, I'm lazy, I don't do anything, I don't help, my hair is dirty, I wear the same shoes everyday and they smell, I wear non-cotton socks and they smell, I wear the same sweatshirt everytime I'm cold, I shouldn't wear a White Sox hat cause it's not baseball season, I didn't take pictures of my daughter in her Halloween costume. My favorites: I don't brush my teeth (like she's home to see me do this) and after I mentioned that maybe I was getting a bladder infection (those of which run rampant in our family) it was because "You don't wipe the right way".
W.T.F. Do you have a hidden camera in the bathroom watching me wipe my crotch when I pee? Seriously? If I catch my 7 year old not doing it the right way I show her how to do it, cause that's my job. But I'm not gonna be tellin her that she does it the wrong way if I didn't see her do it the wrong way. Especially when she's 33 years old.
Yeah I know I need to move out of my parents house, but that would mean I need a job. I tried explaining to my husband how I've been trying to find one for over 4 months but he doesn't get it how hard it is, especially since I haven't worked for 3 years due to not wanting to pay out the butt for day care.
I have a kid that goes to school at 8:30 in the morning and gets out at 2:30. That gives me 5 hours where I could work during the day. Good luck finding that nowadays. I remember seeing ads in the paper like 6 years ago for places looking for mothers that could only work those hours. Now those kind of places are hiring Grandmothers who have more experience and need the work to supplement their income.
I haven't been a very cheery or outgoing person for over a year, and I miss myself. No I don't have Holiday blues or Seasonal Affective Disorder (that hasn't set in yet, it's only December), but I can't shrug off what I've been being told for over the past year and was said to me when I was in Middle school...
You're worthless and will never amount to anything, you're stupid.
Well, mission accomplished.
Here are some things I've figured out over the past few months, bear with me, it's a long list.
I have some form of depression, I drink too much, probably due to the depression, then I drink more cause I'm depressed that I'm depressed. I hate leaving my house if I'm the one driving, not that I hate driving, I just feel anxious doing it. I sleep WAAAY too much and most of the time I'm not even tired. I get mad that I could be reading stuff or doing something and then drink more cause I'm mad at myself for not doin anything. I have no desire to go out on the weekends, put on makeup, do my hair, none of that. I have 2 big drawers filled with cool T-shirts that I haven't been able to wear for over 2 years cause I've adopted a beer gut, and my family feels the need to tell me about it and stare at it everyday (where'd my beer go).
A sentence my dad said to me once when I was about 12 or so has never left my head, and I will NEVER say anything like that to my kid, should have basically been a form of child abuse: You're worthless and will never amount to anything, you're stupid.
Then there's my mom. Notice no capitalization of the word "MOM". When I'm angry you don't deserve a capital. I smell, I don't shower enough, I'm lazy, I don't do anything, I don't help, my hair is dirty, I wear the same shoes everyday and they smell, I wear non-cotton socks and they smell, I wear the same sweatshirt everytime I'm cold, I shouldn't wear a White Sox hat cause it's not baseball season, I didn't take pictures of my daughter in her Halloween costume. My favorites: I don't brush my teeth (like she's home to see me do this) and after I mentioned that maybe I was getting a bladder infection (those of which run rampant in our family) it was because "You don't wipe the right way".
W.T.F. Do you have a hidden camera in the bathroom watching me wipe my crotch when I pee? Seriously? If I catch my 7 year old not doing it the right way I show her how to do it, cause that's my job. But I'm not gonna be tellin her that she does it the wrong way if I didn't see her do it the wrong way. Especially when she's 33 years old.
Yeah I know I need to move out of my parents house, but that would mean I need a job. I tried explaining to my husband how I've been trying to find one for over 4 months but he doesn't get it how hard it is, especially since I haven't worked for 3 years due to not wanting to pay out the butt for day care.
I have a kid that goes to school at 8:30 in the morning and gets out at 2:30. That gives me 5 hours where I could work during the day. Good luck finding that nowadays. I remember seeing ads in the paper like 6 years ago for places looking for mothers that could only work those hours. Now those kind of places are hiring Grandmothers who have more experience and need the work to supplement their income.
I haven't been a very cheery or outgoing person for over a year, and I miss myself. No I don't have Holiday blues or Seasonal Affective Disorder (that hasn't set in yet, it's only December), but I can't shrug off what I've been being told for over the past year and was said to me when I was in Middle school...
You're worthless and will never amount to anything, you're stupid.
Well, mission accomplished.
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